| تبليغات | X |
 |
 |
|
| آموزش زبان انگلیسی-مطالب علمی-داستانها-شعرها-آهنگها-smsها-جوک-ضرب المثلها و بروزترین متون انگلیسی |
|
جوک انگلیسی-فارسی.............7
|
|
|
+ نوشته شده در
پنجشنبه چهاردهم آبان 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
من که نتونستم از چپ براست پیست کنم اقلا شما از راست به چپ بخوانید! 88 + 88+ 58 + 98 + 38 + 48 + 78 + 78 = 88593477 |
|
+ نوشته شده در
یکشنبه دهم آبان 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
Give laugh to all,but smile to one* Give cheeks to all,but lips to one* Give love to all, but heart to one * Let everybody love you,BUT YOU LOVE ONE!* Cheek:گونه |
|
+ نوشته شده در
شنبه نهم آبان 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
Once upon a time in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly. Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it. Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-iL, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you." Li-Li said,"Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do. "Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. "Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with. The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep off the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her." Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her." HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you. |
|
+ نوشته شده در
دوشنبه چهارم آبان 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America , and are things attorneys actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters ,who had to suffer from the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: &! nbsp; Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law. WITNESS:شاهد ATTORNEY:دادستان Courts: دادگاه AUTOPSY:کالبدشکافی Bar exam:دورهء وکالت |
|
+ نوشته شده در
دوشنبه بیست و هفتم مهر 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
زنگ تفریح و تفکر !.......20 on
the burning Turkish ship Undadriyatik in the waters near town of
Rovinj, Croatia in the northern Adriatic Sea on Feb. 6, 2008. (AP
Photo/FILE)  ادامه مطلب |
|
+ نوشته شده در
پنجشنبه بیست و سوم مهر 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
|
|
+ نوشته شده در
سه شنبه بیست و یکم مهر 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
FOOD AS MEDICINE
HEAD ACHE? EAT FISH! Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches.. So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain. سرتان درد مي کند؟ ماهي بخورید. ماهي زياد مصرف کنيد. روغن ماهي به پيش گيري از سردرد کمك مي کند. زنجبيل هم با کاهش التهاب و درد عملكرد مشابهي دارد.
HAVE FEVER? EAT YOGURT! Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season. Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily. تب داريد؟ ماست ميل کنيد. قبل از شروع فصل گرده افشاني ماست زياد مصرف کنيد. همچنين بطور روزانه از عسل محلي منطقه خود ميل کنيد. TO PREVENT STROKE? DRINK TEA! Prevent build up of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (Actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading.... Green tea is great for our immune system)! براي جلوگيري از سكته: چاي بنوشيد. با مصرف مرتب چاي از رسوب چربي بر روي ديواره شريان ها جلوگيري کنيد. (در مورد خودم چاي اثر خوبي براي کاهش اشتها داشته و مانع اضافه وزن شده است.... چاي سبز براي سيستم ايمني فوق العاده است)! INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP)? HONEY! Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative. بيخوابي داريد؟ عسل بخوريد. از عسل بعنوان داروي مسكن و آرام بخش استفاده کنيد. . ASTHMA? EAT ONIONS!!!! Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. (When I was young, my mother would make onion packs to place on our chest, helped the respiratory ailments and actually made us breathe better). دچار آسم هستيد؟ پياز بخوريد. مصرف پياز التهاب نايژك ها را از بين مي برد. (وقتي بچه بودم مادرم بسته پياز درست مي کرد تا روي قفسه سينه ما بگذارد. براي درمان بيماري هاي تنفسي خوب بود و کمك مي کرد بهتر نفس بكشيم.) ARTHRITIS? EAT FISH, TOO!! Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system) از ورم مفاصل رنج مي بريد؟ باز هم ماهي ميل کنيد. ماهي قزل آلا، تون، خال مخالي و ساردين از ورم مفاصل جلوگيري مي کند. (ماهي سرشار از روغن هاي امگاست که براي سيستم ايمني فوق العاده است.) UPSET STOMACH? BANANAS - GINGER!!!!! Bananas will settle an upset stomach. Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea. دل بهم خوردگي داريد؟ موز و زنجبيل. موز به معده اي که اذيت شده کمك مي کند. زنجبيل حالت تهوع صبحگاهي و دل آشوب را درمان مي کند. BLADDER INFECTION? DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!! High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria. اگر عفونت مثانه داريد؟ آب قره قاط ( زرشک ؟ ) بنوشيد. آب قره قاط سرشار از اسيد مي باشد که باکتري هاي مضر را کنترل مي کند. BONE PROBLEMS? EAT PINEAPPLE!!! Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple. دچار مشكلات استخوان هستيد؟ آناناس ميل کنيد. شكستگي و پوکی استخوان با کمك منگنز موجود در آناناس قابل پيش گيري است. PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME? EAT CORNFLAKES!! !! Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue. از سندرم پيش از قاعدگي رنج مي بريد؟ ذرت بوداده ميل کنيد. خانمها مي توانند با صرف ذرت بوداده که به کاهش افسردگي، نگراني و خستگي که از عوارض PMS مي باشد پيش گيري کنند. MEMORY PROBLEMS? EAT OYSTERS! Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc. دچار مشكلات حافظه شده ايد؟ صدف خوراکي بخوريد. صدف با داشتن روي مورد نياز به بهبود عملكرد مغز کمك مي کند. COLDS? EAT GARLIC! Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. )remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.) سرما خورديد؟ سير بخوريد. سرو کله گرفته را با سير تميز کنيد. (يادتان باشد که سير سطح کلسترول را نيز کاهش مي دهد) COUGHING? USE RED PEPPERS!! A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy. سرفه مي کنيد؟ فلفل قرمز !!! مشابه ماده اي که در شربت سرفه بكار مي رود در فلفل قرمز وجود دارد. البته فلفل قرمز را با احتياط مصرف کنيد شايد معده شما را تحريك کند. BREAST CANCER? EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels. سرطان سينه؟ گندم، سبوس و کلم مصرف کنيد.. اين مواد استروژن را در سطوح سالم نگه مي دارند. LUNG CANCER? EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!! A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables. سرطان ريه؟ سبزي های سبز تيره و نارنجي رنگ مصرف کنيد. بتا اکروتن نوعي ويتامين A پادزهر مفيدي است که در سبزي های تيره و نارنجي رنگ يافت ميشود . ULCERS? EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!! Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers. زخم معده بروز کرده؟ کلم بخوريد. کلم شامل ترکيباتي است که به درمان زخم معده و دوازدهه کمك مي کند. DIARRHEA? EAT APPLES! Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment) اسهال؟ سيب ميل کنيد. سيب را با پوست رنده کنيد. بگذاريد تا قهوه اي شويد و براي درمان اين وضعيت ميل کنيد. ( موز نيز براي اين بيماري خوب است) CLOGGED ARTERIES? EAT AVOCADO! Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol. از شريان هاي رسوب گرفته رنج مي بريد؟ آووکادو بخوريد. چربي غير اشباع شده موجود در آوکادو کلسترول را پايين مي آورد. HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE? EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!! Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.. Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too. فشار خونتان بالاست؟ کرفس و روغن زيتون ميل کنيد. روغن زيتون فشار خون را پايين مي آورد. کرفس نيز شامل ماده اي است که فشار خون را پايين مي آورد. BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE? EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!! The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar. ناهماهنگي قند خون داريد؟ بروکلي و بادام زميني ميل کنيد. کروم موجود در بروکلي و بادام زميني انسولين و قند خون را تنظيم مي کند. Kiwi: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E &fiber. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.
کیوي: ريز و مقوي. منبع بسيار خوب پتاسيم،منيزيوم، ويتامين E و فيبر. ويتامين C موجود در آن دو برابر پرتقال مي باشد. Apple: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants &flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke. سيب: يك سيب در روز پزشك را دور نگه مي دارد؟ با اينكه سيب ويتامين C کمی دارد ولی دارای آنتی اکسيدان ها وفلاونوید هایی مي باشد که با تشدید فعاليت ويتامين C به کاهش خطر سرطان روده بزرگ، حمله قلبي و سكته مغزي کمك مي کند . Strawberry: Power among Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant vessels clogging free radicals protects the body from cancer causing, blood & major fruits. Anti-oxidants and they actually keep us actually; any berry is good for you. They're high in them get rid of all....... (best and very versatile in the health field blueberries are the......... young ( free-radicals that invade our bodies them) توت فرنگي: ميوه محافظ. توت فرنگي بالاترين قدرت آنتي اکسيدان را در ميان ميوه اي اصلي دارد که بدن را در برابر سرطان، راديكال هاي آزاد رسوب شده درون رگ هاي خوني محافظت مي کند. (در واقع هر ميوه اي از خانواده توت براي شما خوب و مفيد است. شامل ميزان بالاي انتي اکسيدان هستند و ما را جوان نگه مي دارند ... آبي بهترين نوع است و کليه راديكال هاي آزاد را که به بدن هجوم مي آورند از بين مي برد. Orange: Oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4
.cancer dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon & cholesterol, prevent
پرتقال: شيرين ترين دارو. خوردن 2 الي 4 پرتقال در روز کمك به پيش گيري از سرماخوردگي و کلسترول پايين مي کند و سنگ هاي کليه را از بين می برد. با تشکر از خواهرزادهء نازنینم بخاطر ارسال مطلب. |
|
|
+ نوشته شده در
یکشنبه نوزدهم مهر 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
|
|
+ نوشته شده در
چهارشنبه پانزدهم مهر 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
|
|
+ نوشته شده در
جمعه دهم مهر 1388ساعت توسط olinda |
|
|
خانه ایمیل آرشیو |
| درباره وبلاگ |
هر کس بخواهد از بی سوادی دنیا نجات یابد باید زبان بین المللی را یاد بگیرد!
|
| پیوندهای خودمونی! |
|
وبلاگ نی نی کوچولوی بالایی! نبینی باختی!.......وبلاگ دوم ... |
|
RSS
|
